I Gotta Rep To Protect

READY...  “It takes many good deeds to build a good reputation, and only one bad one to lose it.”  ~ Benjamin Franklin

AIM…  “Hey, I gotta rep to protect!”  These days, most kids don’t seem to care about their reputation.  In fact, many of them think it’s funny or cool to have a questionable reputation because that gives them notoriety.  Really?!?  Who told them those actions or behavior choices were cool?  Why aren’t their parents correcting their uncool behavior?  Perhaps their parents are too cool to correct?  You know the ones; “those parents.”  The parents who think it’s fantastic that they are their kid’s friends.  The parents who don’t read their kid’s text messages or review their Facebook page or Instagram profile.  The ones who think curfews are old fashioned and watching inappropriately-themed movies with their kid is hilarious.  Really?!?  Who told them those actions or behavior choices were cool?  What would THEIR parents have to say?

Truthfully, the pressure to be a cool parent is daunting.  However, the pressure to raise your children to become responsible, God-fearing, intelligent, polite, outstanding citizens is even more daunting.  It takes time to sit down and talk to your children about their lives, who they are hanging out with, and what they like or dislike.  It takes time to review their technology usage, monitor their electronic conversations, and ask questions about their online friends and connections.  It takes time to investigate movies, music and the latest apps and establish age-appropriate boundaries AND enforce those boundaries.  Other parents might say that you are weird, uncool or not normal to be infiltrating your kid’s world.  I say, I’d rather be uncool and weird every day of the year and know I have a kid who is going to make a positive difference in this world.  Hey, I got a rep to protect too!

FIRE!  Talk to your child (or a child in your family) about what they get excited about or what they really like to do (other than play with electronic devices.)  Get interested in a few things they enjoy and see your connections grow and your positive influence will rub off.

Be Excellent!

Lori

Bullies

READY… “When people hurt you over and over, think of them like sand paper. They may scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end, you end up polished and they end up useless.” ~ Chris Colfer

AIM…  I understand that October is national anti-bullying month.  I know bullying has become a major issue in the school systems, especially since kids have almost unlimited access to social media. Social media provides a place where their identities are protected from behind a screen. It’s a lot easier to hurl insults and accusations when you don’t have to see the other person face to face.  The truth is that bullies have existed from the dawn of time.  It’s almost a survival of the fittest situation.  However, it’s not ok; it’s never been ok. Sooner or later we, as parents and community members, have to stand up for what’s right and put an end to this dangerous behavior. 

Most folks will argue that the crackdown has to come from home; specifically from the parents.  Well, with broken families and one parent trying to do the job of two, it’s difficult to love and punish with purpose.  I say that is no excuse. That is just a challenge; you can make it work regardless if you have two parents or not.  It’s whether you CHOOSE to reinforce the good morals of kindness, love and honor in your home and outside of your home.  Sadly, the honor of the family name doesn’t mean what it used to.  Kids don’t understand the amount of trouble they can get in and how it will affect the family name and reputation.  There’s so much negativity in our world that most of those inappropriate actions go unaddressed or overlooked.  It’s not until that innocent young girl or awkward teen-age boy comes home and tries to hurt themselves that our society takes notice—and starts to lay blame.

You are a responsible human being with good moral character and integrity, and I challenge you to take care of the people around you.  Bullying isn’t just for kids anymore.  Social media has become a springboard for inappropriate messages and information from all ages.  We must take responsibility to stop bullying.  We must be sure we aren’t contributing to the problem; ignoring what is being posted online is condoning it. Be mindful of your texts and social media comments.  Watch your words in conversations; they become your destiny.  If you wouldn’t want someone else speaking to you in a specific tone or with certain phrases, don’t use them yourself.  Be on the lookout for young men and women who may be in need of a trustworthy adult to confide in or provide direction for help.  It’s time for each one of us to take action against bullies.  Yes, in the long run, most of us have turned out to become amazing people despite our own bullying stories.  However, we can’t risk the chance that just one human being slips through the cracks and falls off the radar due to a lack of awareness or fear of getting involved.

FIRE!   Talk to a young person today.  Ask him about his day; who he hangs out with and what his friends are like.  Be interested in the things he is doing.  Check up on his electronic media and be aware of who he is chatting with online.  (If your kids object, tell them it is your responsibility as a parent to ensure that that they are being socially responsible.) Believe me; you’ll be doing him and yourself a favor in the long run.

Be Excellent!

Lori

What IS Normal?

READY… “Normal is nothing more than a cycle on a washing machine.” ~ Whoopi Goldberg

AIM… Do you ever feel like you’re not normal? Truthfully, I’m not really sure what normal looks or feels like anymore. As a parent, I have high expectations of the manners, morals and behaviors I want to see displayed by my children. My husband and I have rules we expect our children to follow. We also have limitations on some of the conveniences and freedoms we allow our children to enjoy. However, after talking to our children and listening and observing their peers, I often feel like we are not normal. Perhaps we are the minority: setting limits, commanding respect and not saying yes all the time. There are days that I feel guilty about our parenting decisions. Then there are days when my children are complimented for their politeness and good behavior and I know our “abnormal” choices are paying off.

I think in our ever-changing world, normal simply has to be defined by what’s expected and comfortable for YOUR family and your environment. Being normal doesn’t mean being the SAME as everyone else. Being normal is doing what is best for your family, whether in your home or out in public, as well as staying within your financial means and your personal limits. What’s best for your children isn’t always what’s best for their friends and vice versa. Embrace the responsibility of parenting and enjoy knowing that whatever decisions you make for your family is what normal looks like.

FIRE! Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks is normal and do what you feel is best for yourself and your family. Choose to set yourself apart by stepping up to stand firm in one area of importance for your family this week.

Be Excellent!
Lori

Victories In Mothering

READY8“I looked on child-rearing not only as a work of love and duty but as a profession that was fully as interesting and challenging as any honorable profession in the world and one that demanded the best that I could bring it.” ~ Rose Kennedy AIM8 Being a mom is rewarding, but it is a tough job too. Getting paid in hugs and kisses some days just isn’t the salary you expected. Even our best intentions can be completely twisted and turned around in an instant. Are you good at going with the flow and rolling with the punches? Better buckle up and get ready! If you haven’t experienced the thrill of the adventure yet, you’re in for a wild ride! :) Because being a mom requires so much of our treasured time, our talents and personal space often get pushed into the Twilight Zone. If you have felt like you’re stuck in another dimension, you are NOT alone. Many of us moms are stuck in that same dimension of chaos! So, how do we check ourselves back into reality? For starters, we need to stop focusing on all the WRONGS we are doing and start recognizing all the RIGHTS. Negative self-talk does so much damage to our well-being and our self confidence. God created you in His image to be loved and to give love away. Let’s start speaking truth into our lives and regain that inborn God-confidence He designed just for us. If you need some help discovering your victories as a mom, here are some great ways to rethink your day to day actions and conversations with yourself: You are using your body to…grow a miracle; feed and nurture your infants; snuggle with and comfort your older children. You are using your hands to… play fun games; teach and educate with puzzles; bathe and dress your children, offer hugs of approval and applause for major accomplishments. You are using your creativity and talents to…make healthy and interesting meals for your family; bring home additional money to contribute to the budget; entertain your children when you’re stuck in the house for a snowy or rainy day. You are using your brain to…outwit toddler temper tantrums; encourage successful potty training transitions; find ways to instill good morals and values in the minds of your children and encourage and support life-changing decisions. You are using your personality to…find humor in everyday events; meet new moms and form meaningful friendships; continue to attract your spouse to the woman he has loved since you dated. You are using your heart to…boldly LOVE like you’ve never loved before…yes, it’s possible. You are using your spirit to…invite God’s presence, plan, purpose and protection over yourself, your marriage and your children’s lives. Galatians 6:9 says “So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up.” Mom-friends, don’t lose yourself in the negativity of the Twilight Zone. Lift yourself up by reminding yourself of all the VICTORIOUS things you are accomplishing every single day. Down the road, you WILL reap a harvest of blessings as you witness the successes of your children and all their accomplishments. And what a huge victory dance you will do that day! FIRE!8 Pour yourself a cup of coffee or tea and grab a photo album or scrapbook. Enjoy a quiet walk down memory lane reminiscing about your children. For a moment, forget the piles of laundry that need washed and folded and remind yourself what a GREAT job you are doing as a mom. Yay, you! Be Excellent! Lori

Our Cherished Gifts

READY8 “All children are a gift from God.” Psalm 127:3 AIM8 Oh, what joyous gifts children are in our lives. It is so true. God gives us the miracle of another human being to care for, teach, nurture and love. My kids are getting older and I’m recognizing that it’s getting harder for me to let them grow up. Being a good parent is finding the ability to walk the fine line of holding on and letting go. When your children are young, they need lots of attention and direct care from you, their parents. As your child grows older, he needs the space to grow and the age-appropriate freedom to exercise his independence. Our job, as parents, is simply to monitor our child’s progress and manage the consequences of his or her choices. How else will she really learn the relationship of cause and effect? It’s like the baby birds who try to fly for the first time, but instead, fall straight to the ground right out of the nest. The mother birds nudge them and help them get up and try to fly again. Eventually, the baby bird puts it all together, figures it out and goes soaring off on his next adventure in the great, wide open world. As you love, teach, correct and nurture your children, be sure to recognize that your time with them is limited. Relish in every moment, silly antic, crazy memory, awful accident and cherished hug and kiss. Our job is to be responsible to raise well-adjusted, mature and capable, young men and women who are able to leave their parents and handle life on their own. Don’t fret if your kids don’t “need” you as they get older. See their independence as a reward that you have taught them well and have prepared them for the chaotic adventure ahead. Oh, and in the meantime, thank God for the blessing of your most cherished gifts, your children, and enjoy this crazy ride called parenting. FIRE!8 Plan to do something special with your children this weekend. You can have a family game night, watch a movie together (complete with popcorn and snacks,) go for a bike ride, meet for coffee, read stories together or simply make a phone call to chat and catch up on life. The time you invest in your children will be a true gift to them. Be Excellent! Lori