A Letter To My Teenage Son

READY... “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 NKJV


AIM... A Letter To My Teenage Son:

Wow!  You are growing up fast!  Wasn’t it just yesterday you were watching Blue’s Clues and playing with Thomas the Train?  So many things seem to have changed in your life, and my life, in such a short time since you turned 13.

You know, being a teenager is hard, but being the mom of a teenager is hard too.  As you continue to grow and mature into a young man, here are a few things I want to make sure you know:

1.    I love you; plain and simple.  When you are happy, I love you.  When you are sad, I love you.  When you are mad at me, I love you.  When you make mistakes, I still love you.  I will celebrate all your victories, big and small, and love you always.

2.   Be yourself.  Learn to love who God created you to be.  You are unique and different.  There’s no one else in the world like you.  When everyone wants to look the same and do the same things, do what YOU want to do and wear what YOU want to wear.  Kids may tease or make fun of you – it’s just because they are jealous of your self-confidence and it’s the only way they know how to cover up their insecurities.  Do your best to ignore them.  They aren’t worth your time and energy.

 

3.   Do your best. Always.  No matter what you do in life, make sure you always give it your best effort.  Whether you are taking a test in school, playing music for a concert, trying out for a sport, mowing the grass, cleaning your room, or babysitting your little sister – you want to be sure you’ve given everything your best shot and can feel good about the outcome or end result, whatever it may be.  No one likes receiving a bad grade or having to re-do a chore or job.  However, if it was performed with your best effort, then you’ll have no regrets.  If the results aren’t as you expected, evaluate your effort and try harder next time. 

 

4.   Be a good friend.  Everyone needs at least one good friend they can count on.  Be sure to listen when your friend needs to talk.  Stick up for him when the world attacks.  Lift him up when the chips are down.  Have a high five and fist bump ready when he’s successful.  Be supportive an encouraging when he’s scared.  Be trustworthy and learn to keep his secrets.  Be loyal and stand by him through the good and the bad times.  Have fun together.  Laugh until your stomach hurts.  Be buds for life.

 

5.   Respect girls/women.  You are just starting to recognize the external beauty of young women.  As you mature, you’ll realize that external beauty is a bonus – the real beauty of a woman comes from her heart and her character.  Treat girls with kindness.  Be polite.  Open doors for them. Offer your seat so a woman can sit down.  Be a hero and a knight in shining armor.  Be a good listener.  Buy flowers, just because.  Laugh together.  Treat her like a princess.  Smile.  Be kind to her mother and father.  Tell her she’s beautiful.  Be faithful.  Be a gentleman at all times.

 

6.   Be a young man of excellent character.  Make wise choices.  Be honest and trustworthy.  Never compromise your personal standards.  Establish boundaries.  Have integrity.  Stand by your good morals and values.  Always remember it’s important to do the right thing when everyone is watching you, but it’s more important to do the right things when no one is watching you.

 

7.   The love of money is the root of all evil.  What I mean is, it’s ok to work hard and make a good living and to save some money for a rainy day.  However, money doesn’t buy happiness; it simply gives you opportunities for more choices.  Your attitude about money can make or break you.  Don’t be greedy.  Be responsible with your money.  Save some, spend some, give some away.  God gave you the ability to earn your money, respect Him and give 10% back to God.  He will always provide for your needs as long as you are responsible.  If you can bless others, be a blessing.  Make wise choices about how you spend your money.  Just because somebody has brand new things, doesn’t mean you need to have the same brand new things too.  They may be in debt up to their eyeballs.  Be smart.  Buy what you need, when you need it and a little frivolity now and then is ok.  Having lots of money and things doesn’t make you a good person or a better person.  Period.

 

8.   Just say no to drugs and alcohol.  Seriously.  All it takes is one time and you could be dead.  Get high on having fun in life.  Don’t think a medicine is going to make you feel good about yourself or what’s going on in your world.  Learn to have fun without those outside influences.  You’ll be safe.  You’ll be responsible.  You’ll be thankful because you will see what drugs and alcohol will do to the kids around you and it’s scary, sad and will negatively affect you for the rest of your life.  Make smart choices.

 

9.   Sex is beautiful….when you are with your wife.  God created man and woman to have children and grow the world.  He wanted sex to be a symbol of love between a husband and wife who are committed to each other for life.  Unfortunately, our world has taken this beautiful connection and ruined it with all sorts of perverse media outlets and empty promises of satisfaction outside of the safety of marriage.  I can only hope and pray you will shield your eyes and ears from the negative sensations that will tempt you in school, work and life.  My prayer is for you to commit to a pure heart, mind and body that you can gift to your wife on your wedding day.  I promise, it will be truly beautiful for you both.

 

10.  Above all else, God loves you.  All these things I’ve told you are ways you can grow up to be a mature, young man.  However, life is full of difficult situations and temptations.  Should you trip up, make a poor choice or fall short of your ideals – God will still love you.  He created you, designed you for a purpose and already knows what you are or aren’t going to do.  And yet – He still loves you.  Nothing is greater than God’s love and His promise of heaven and eternal life.  So remember, you are human, you will make mistakes in life; but God will be waiting with open arms to hug you, welcome you back, give you peace and love you no matter what…forever.

 

I hope you take these words to heart.  Please know I only care about your well-being and want the very best for you while you are in my care here on earth.  I believe in you, always, and look forward to the future and watching you grow into an even more amazing young man.

 

Love you always,
Mom  xoxo

FIRE!   Teen years are trying years.  Do you know a teenager?  Make a date to spend time with him or her over ice cream this summer and talk.  Ask questions.  Listen to his responses.  Affirm her dreams and aspirations.  Be intentional about connecting.  You will be an incredible blessing.  

 

Be Excellent!

Lori

I Gotta Rep To Protect

READY...  “It takes many good deeds to build a good reputation, and only one bad one to lose it.”  ~ Benjamin Franklin

AIM…  “Hey, I gotta rep to protect!”  These days, most kids don’t seem to care about their reputation.  In fact, many of them think it’s funny or cool to have a questionable reputation because that gives them notoriety.  Really?!?  Who told them those actions or behavior choices were cool?  Why aren’t their parents correcting their uncool behavior?  Perhaps their parents are too cool to correct?  You know the ones; “those parents.”  The parents who think it’s fantastic that they are their kid’s friends.  The parents who don’t read their kid’s text messages or review their Facebook page or Instagram profile.  The ones who think curfews are old fashioned and watching inappropriately-themed movies with their kid is hilarious.  Really?!?  Who told them those actions or behavior choices were cool?  What would THEIR parents have to say?

Truthfully, the pressure to be a cool parent is daunting.  However, the pressure to raise your children to become responsible, God-fearing, intelligent, polite, outstanding citizens is even more daunting.  It takes time to sit down and talk to your children about their lives, who they are hanging out with, and what they like or dislike.  It takes time to review their technology usage, monitor their electronic conversations, and ask questions about their online friends and connections.  It takes time to investigate movies, music and the latest apps and establish age-appropriate boundaries AND enforce those boundaries.  Other parents might say that you are weird, uncool or not normal to be infiltrating your kid’s world.  I say, I’d rather be uncool and weird every day of the year and know I have a kid who is going to make a positive difference in this world.  Hey, I got a rep to protect too!

FIRE!  Talk to your child (or a child in your family) about what they get excited about or what they really like to do (other than play with electronic devices.)  Get interested in a few things they enjoy and see your connections grow and your positive influence will rub off.

Be Excellent!

Lori

Bullies

READY… “When people hurt you over and over, think of them like sand paper. They may scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end, you end up polished and they end up useless.” ~ Chris Colfer

AIM…  I understand that October is national anti-bullying month.  I know bullying has become a major issue in the school systems, especially since kids have almost unlimited access to social media. Social media provides a place where their identities are protected from behind a screen. It’s a lot easier to hurl insults and accusations when you don’t have to see the other person face to face.  The truth is that bullies have existed from the dawn of time.  It’s almost a survival of the fittest situation.  However, it’s not ok; it’s never been ok. Sooner or later we, as parents and community members, have to stand up for what’s right and put an end to this dangerous behavior. 

Most folks will argue that the crackdown has to come from home; specifically from the parents.  Well, with broken families and one parent trying to do the job of two, it’s difficult to love and punish with purpose.  I say that is no excuse. That is just a challenge; you can make it work regardless if you have two parents or not.  It’s whether you CHOOSE to reinforce the good morals of kindness, love and honor in your home and outside of your home.  Sadly, the honor of the family name doesn’t mean what it used to.  Kids don’t understand the amount of trouble they can get in and how it will affect the family name and reputation.  There’s so much negativity in our world that most of those inappropriate actions go unaddressed or overlooked.  It’s not until that innocent young girl or awkward teen-age boy comes home and tries to hurt themselves that our society takes notice—and starts to lay blame.

You are a responsible human being with good moral character and integrity, and I challenge you to take care of the people around you.  Bullying isn’t just for kids anymore.  Social media has become a springboard for inappropriate messages and information from all ages.  We must take responsibility to stop bullying.  We must be sure we aren’t contributing to the problem; ignoring what is being posted online is condoning it. Be mindful of your texts and social media comments.  Watch your words in conversations; they become your destiny.  If you wouldn’t want someone else speaking to you in a specific tone or with certain phrases, don’t use them yourself.  Be on the lookout for young men and women who may be in need of a trustworthy adult to confide in or provide direction for help.  It’s time for each one of us to take action against bullies.  Yes, in the long run, most of us have turned out to become amazing people despite our own bullying stories.  However, we can’t risk the chance that just one human being slips through the cracks and falls off the radar due to a lack of awareness or fear of getting involved.

FIRE!   Talk to a young person today.  Ask him about his day; who he hangs out with and what his friends are like.  Be interested in the things he is doing.  Check up on his electronic media and be aware of who he is chatting with online.  (If your kids object, tell them it is your responsibility as a parent to ensure that that they are being socially responsible.) Believe me; you’ll be doing him and yourself a favor in the long run.

Be Excellent!

Lori

Super Mom

READY… “A suburban mother’s role is to deliver her children obstetrically once, and by car ever after.” ~ Peter De Vries

AIM… I want to know one thing: Why do we only celebrate mothers on one day out of the whole year? Moms are such an integral part of a successful family. I know for a fact, that moms have far too much to do in the short 24 hour window of a day. And yet, moms squeeze in every last second for extra activities, chores, food prep, homework help, laundry, banking, etc. that they possibly can. Sadly, it is the plight of a Super Mom. I must confess; I am a wanna-be Super Mom. Reality check: it’s impossible. However, for awhile, I was going to die trying to be the first ever Super Mom on the planet, darn it! Yeah, that ambition got shot down real fast by the kryptonite-effect the lack of sleep has on your body. So, for now, I’m happy to be a Semi-Super Mom enjoying the roller coaster ride of life with children and learning to take one day at a time. In the meantime, I’ll let my children believe I still have some super secret powers like using the eyes in the back of my head and my ‘mom sense’ for knowing exactly what they are going to do next before they even do it.

For a hilarious recap on everything we moms say in a 24 hour period, click the following link. You can’t watch this and tell me you, or your mom, hasn’t said the majority of these words and phrases all in the same day! Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXgoJ0f5EsQ

FIRE!   At some point today, have the courage to tell a mom that she’s doing a great job at being a mom. Where are you going to find this mom, you ask? You might find yourself behind a mom in the grocery store check-out line, or hear a fellow co-worker talking about her children, or you may actually be standing next to another mom while waiting to pick up your kids after school. No matter who the mom is, or when or where you see her, if you complement her mothering skills, you are guaranteed to bless her and make her day!

Be Excellent!
Lori

What IS Normal?

READY… “Normal is nothing more than a cycle on a washing machine.” ~ Whoopi Goldberg

AIM… Do you ever feel like you’re not normal? Truthfully, I’m not really sure what normal looks or feels like anymore. As a parent, I have high expectations of the manners, morals and behaviors I want to see displayed by my children. My husband and I have rules we expect our children to follow. We also have limitations on some of the conveniences and freedoms we allow our children to enjoy. However, after talking to our children and listening and observing their peers, I often feel like we are not normal. Perhaps we are the minority: setting limits, commanding respect and not saying yes all the time. There are days that I feel guilty about our parenting decisions. Then there are days when my children are complimented for their politeness and good behavior and I know our “abnormal” choices are paying off.

I think in our ever-changing world, normal simply has to be defined by what’s expected and comfortable for YOUR family and your environment. Being normal doesn’t mean being the SAME as everyone else. Being normal is doing what is best for your family, whether in your home or out in public, as well as staying within your financial means and your personal limits. What’s best for your children isn’t always what’s best for their friends and vice versa. Embrace the responsibility of parenting and enjoy knowing that whatever decisions you make for your family is what normal looks like.

FIRE! Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks is normal and do what you feel is best for yourself and your family. Choose to set yourself apart by stepping up to stand firm in one area of importance for your family this week.

Be Excellent!
Lori